How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
