dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
