Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
