it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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