Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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