Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My dick has a subreddit
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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