I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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