He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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