she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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