Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
