It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
