I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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