i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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