I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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