We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize