it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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