My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
