I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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