I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
