Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize