I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
