You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
