I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
