he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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