Where is the hickey?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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