I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.