if you like me you must not know who I am
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.