she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.