just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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