He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
