Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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