hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
