You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize