apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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