I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
