I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
