Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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