i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
