brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
