Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
