what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
