His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
