so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's like a pop up book from hell.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
