shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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