so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
