just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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