if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
