Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize