So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
