how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
