Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize