I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
