Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize