I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
