I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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