Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize