my phone needs a breathalizer
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my poor anus
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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