my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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