addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
