is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
