I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
