; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
